Dear Annie: I need to vent here. I have a group of girlfriends, and there is one, “Melanie,” who dominates the conversation. Melanie’s voice is louder than mine so if I am telling a story or asking a question, she will just blare out whatever is on her mind. Another annoying habit: Even if someone is talking directly to Melanie, she often starts turning her head away from that person and trying to listen to the other girls’ conversations. Last night was the final straw. I am finding myself not wanting to participate in lunches or dinners out when she is there. How do I tell her to “shut up”? A few of the other girls feel the same as I do. — Timid Voice

Dear Timid Voice: The thing about loud people is that they usually don’t realize they’re being loud. Sure, they might know that they have a tendency to be loud, as some friends and family have likely pointed this out to them over the years. But in the actual moment when they are raising their voices 10 decibels above the rest, they lack self-awareness.

All that is to say, Timid Voice, that it’s time to speak up. If you’re sharing a story and Melanie starts in, take a deep breath, smile and say: “Hold that thought, Melanie. As I was saying…” Repeatedly and kindly bringing Melanie’s attention to the fact that she’s interrupting should — hopefully — quell the behavior, in time. If not, a candid conversation should do the trick: Ask if she realizes that sometimes she interrupts you, and that it makes you feel less heard. Any friend worth having would make an effort to dial it down after that.

Editor’s note: “Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.