Annie Lane, syndicated columnist

Dear Annie: I love my wife. We’ve been married for 11 years, but recently, she hasn’t been taking my side with anything involving our 14-year-old son. She tells me that I am overreacting or being stubborn. OK, I know I can be stubborn, but I firmly believe a child should show respect to his parents. Right now, my problem is that I can’t do a thing in my own house without asking permission from the 14-year-old.

Say someone calls and he asks me, “Who are you talking to?” Or, if I go outside, he asks, “Where are you going?” When I tell him that I’m the adult, that I don’t answer to him, he replies that his mother gets onto me for getting onto him, so I just need to tell him everything. And if I get onto him and yell because I’ve told him over and over not to do something, then I’m the bad guy because I lost my temper.

I’m just tired of being ignored and disrespected all the time. Anyway, I try to talk to my wife about showing a united front in front of our son, but since he isn’t biologically mine — I just adopted him — she tells me that she won’t because I’m wrong all the time. What should I do? — Frustrated and Tired Dad and Husband

Dear Frustrated and Tired: Trying to speak with your wife and show a united front is a great idea. Her dismissing you and saying that you are wrong all the time is not the best way to communicate. At this point, you might have to seek the help of a professional family counselor. It is important for your 14-year-old son to learn to respect you and your wife. It will serve him well in life.

If you don’t teach your son proper manners and respect for you, his parent, he will sadly have to learn that lesson in the real world.

Being disrespectful to a teacher or a boss can have serious life consequences. When you express your frustrations to your wife, explain that to her and that you are coming from a place of love and wanting what is best for all.

As for the process of gaining respect, remember that small victories should be celebrated. Try and focus on any subtle changes you see in your son, and remember, he is 14. Most teenagers have streaks of rebellion, of “disrespectfulness.” This can actually be healthy if it is done in a safe way and you are all talking about it. Also remember that when you lose your temper, you only make matters worse. Try to stay calm during these more tense moments.

With the help of a professional, I’m hopeful you will all live harmoniously.

Dear Annie: I just read the letter from the 92-year-old lady who is so alone and sad during the pandemic. I have tears in my eyes and, like you, a broken heart. I am a 77-year-old retired man. I lost my 96-year-old mom after taking care of her during dementia at home and visiting her for three years in a nursing home. So I have deep compassion for her. I feel so sorry for her.

Dear Deep Compassion: Your letter is so sweet and straight from the heart — filled with love and kindness. Sometimes, just knowing that strangers feel your pain and have compassion for you is enough to make you feel better.

Editor’s note: “Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette – is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.