Annie Lane, syndicated columnist

Dear Annie: I read your column daily and always like your tough love and sensible advice. I’m interested in what your advice would be in the following situation. It involves gift giving at Christmas for nieces and nephews. My daughter does not feel that her brother gave as much to her sons as she did to his daughter and two stepchildren.

She feels she was far more generous than he was. I understand that this is not my problem but am curious about what your advice would be to her. Expense is not an issue. Also, my son’s wife does not involve herself in shopping for gifts for his nephews. It may be that men just shop differently than women. — Dreading Next Christmas

Dear Dreading Next Christmas: I think that if your daughter is going to get out the abacus and compare receipts, she and your son ought to just skip buying presents for each other’s children next year. Instead, the children could do a secret Santa among themselves — crafting gifts or using allowance money to buy small items, depending on their ages — so that they might learn the joy of giving.

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