DEAR ABBY: Is there a delicate way for me to tell my boyfriend not to use the same online floral delivery service again? The birthday bouquet he had delivered to me arrived with limp, wilted, torn petals and leaves and broken stems. It was one of those box-of-flowers deliveries.

I doubt my boyfriend realized they would not arrive in a vase and arranged by a florist. Instead, they had been packed in a box, without water, with the vase packed alongside, delivered by a regular package courier.

I usually send him a photo of my bouquet along with my heartfelt thanks, and while I thanked him as usual, I did not send a picture of the bouquet because I knew he would feel bad — both about the lackluster arrangement, and the money he had spent on them.

I found what I believe was the intended arrangement on the website, and it was lovely — a far cry from what was delivered to me. I love my twice-a-year flowers (birthday and Christmas), and I don’t want to come across as critical or ungrateful. I am blessed to have such a thoughtful partner.

If flowers were just a one-time gift, I would not even consider mentioning it. However, with Valentine’s Day (and another flower delivery) approaching, I wonder if I should let my boyfriend know that it might be better to use a local florist to ensure he is getting his money’s worth. Or should I just cross my fingers that it was a one-off? — UNGRATEFUL GIRLFRIEND

DEAR “UNGRATEFUL”: Tell your boyfriend why you didn’t send him a photo of the flowers he sent as you usually do. He has a right to know, and it will not make you appear ungrateful. He may be able to get a refund if the order was mishandled and he had ordered an arrangement in a vase. And if the vendor is not forthcoming, he may choose to deal with a different one next time. Please give him the option.

DEAR ABBY: I’m one half of a female best friend duo in our early 30s. We both live with clinical depression, and my friend also has ADHD. During most of our 20s, neither of us did a good job of coping with these issues, but we were able to laugh it off together. Now, after putting in a lot of work, I’m finally in a healthy place, and I intend to continue getting better from here.

My best friend, however, is managing her own mental health as poorly as ever. She doesn’t have the interest or the motivation to help herself the way I have, and she resents when others try to talk to her about it. I sense she wishes I was like I used to be.

I’m starting to feel like being around her is no longer healthy for me, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t have many other friends. I live out of state from my family, and I still love her dearly. How should I proceed? — SELF-HELPER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SELF-HELPER: Proceed by continuing to move forward. If you seek out new activities, you will meet more people with common interests. Do not drop her. Call her periodically to check in, and make a point of inviting her to join you in some of your new interests. However, if she refuses, do not let it deter you from doing what you must to aid in your healing. I congratulate you for finding the strength to get the help you needed.

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DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated to a warmer climate a few years ago, putting us more than 1,000 miles away from my adult children. The kids all seem to think this trip was just for fun, and continue to ask me to “come home.”

All three of them are busy with their own well-rounded lives, and the last few years we were there, their visits became less frequent and shorter. We are now in a state that is much more economical than our home state, and our health and well-being have greatly improved. How do I let them know, once and for all, that I AM home? — LOVING THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR LOVING THE SOUTHWEST: A way to let them know would be to explain that the move has been a positive experience for you and your husband, so much so that your health has improved. Tell them the added bonus is that your living expenses have gone down, and with them, any stress about finances.

Let them know they are welcome to visit when it’s convenient for all of you. But do NOT make it about the fact that when you lived close by, their visits became fewer and shorter, which would be regarded as a guilt trip. If you have other friends and relatives where your children live, it’s likely you may be visiting that area occasionally, too.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently gained custody of my younger half-brother after a nasty legal battle with my father and stepmother. While we abhor what led to this, we are delighted my brother is in our home and our lives. With the exception of his parents, so is everyone else in our families.

My brother will be coming with us to family gatherings that include my dad and stepmother. Most of the family is not privy to the circumstances that led to this situation, and I’m sure questions will come up. My brother has PTSD from it, and talking about it right now is difficult for him. He’s in therapy and receiving help, but how can we dissuade potentially upsetting questions without things being weird? — PROTECTIVE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PROTECTIVE: A way to accomplish it would be to have a private talk with your relatives before these events. Explain what happened and that your brother is receiving help but is in too much pain right now to answer any questions, which is why you prefer the subject not be mentioned.

DEAR ABBY: I’m responding to “Not Just Mary, in the South” (Nov. 10), the lady whose name is Mary Lou but is continually called only Mary, even though she prefers being called by her full name. I had the same problem.

My name is Mary Ann, but I was constantly called Mary, which I HATED. To solve the problem, I combined the names and started writing my name as one word — Maryann. Since then, I have never again been called Mary.

By the way, when I also had to give the initial of my middle name, because the “A” was no longer available, I started using “B,” which is the first letter of my maiden name. Mary Lou should try this, and I hope it is as effective for her as it was for me. — MARYANN IN TENNESSEE

DEAR MARYANN: I’m printing your letter because it included the most frequently mentioned suggestion by other readers, and also because it makes perfect sense. Thank you for sharing.

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DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. I love him, and we have an undeniable connection I have never had with anyone else. The problem is, he’s separated but not yet divorced from his wife.

I have a hard time moving forward in the relationship and meeting his family when he hasn’t filed for divorce. He says he’s going to file, and he doesn’t seem to think it’s a big deal, but meeting his son and family members under these circumstances makes me uncomfortable. It’s almost like this is a test run to see if I’ll fit the part before he finalizes everything.

He and his wife have been separated for only a year, and I’m ready to start a family. Our timing seems off, but he treats me so well it’s hard to let him go. Should I put our relationship on hold until he finalizes his divorce, or will he resent me because I’m not being supportive? What if his separation is only temporary, and he’s just having fun? Could I be a side chick? — HAVING DOUBTS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HAVING DOUBTS: You are asking intelligent questions. You have been supportive for quite some time now. Have the two of you actually discussed getting married and starting a family? If you haven’t, you should, so you have some idea of whether his separation is temporary and what a realistic time frame would be. Once you know what that is, it couldn’t hurt to meet his son and his family, if only to see how they react to you.

As to whether you could be this man’s side chick, it depends upon how long you plan to remain in a holding pattern, waiting for him to do something concrete. Some women wait for years only to have things not work out as they had hoped.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.