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Is she hearing him?

Dear Annie: Our best friend’s son just got married in July. We gave them a generous check as a gift at the beginning of June when we saw the son and his fiancee at dinner. We were not going to be attending the wedding later in the month due to a prior engagement.

The thing is, we have never received a thank-you note, text or email. Should we mention this lack of a thank-you to our best friend or his son, or should we just forget about it? — Manners Monitor

Dear Manners Monitor: The best test of good manners is patience with the bad ones. You’re absolutely correct that it’s rude that they’ve not sent a thank-you; however, it would also be rude for you to bring this up. Take a deep breath and be glad for your own graciousness.

Dear Annie: I am compelled to write in response to “Are You Listening,” regarding her frustration that her husband doesn’t seem to want to talk with her.

My husband suffered from hearing loss, which became progressively worse as the years rolled by. Eventually, his hearing deteriorated to the category of “profound hearing loss.”

As for echoing something that was said, in a person with impaired hearing there is a lag time between what the ear hears and when the brain processes the sound. Thus the afflicted person is reaffirming what had been said. And I’m willing to bet that when her husband seems to ignore her speaking in the car, this is because he truly can’t hear her.

One helpful thing I learned was that if I changed the pitch and tone of my voice and spoke slowly and clearly my husband could understand more of what I said. Even with his more powerful aids, when I wanted to speak to him, I had to touch his arm to alert him that I wanted to say something.

I strongly advise “Are You Listening” and her husband have a thorough hearing evaluation performed by a doctor of audiology who will help her understand the challenges of living with this disability. I think they will be surprised at the extent of hubby’s hearing loss. A well-trained HIS (hearing instrument specialist) or HAS (hearing aid specialist) would be the second part of the equation. The third part is that both husband and wife need to be patient with each other. — Been There, Done That

Dear Been There: Experience is the best teacher. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us.

Editor’s note: “Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.