Annie Lane, syndicated columnist

Dear Annie: I guess my question is more just about the state of my life. I went to great schools, played college sports, got married to a wonderful woman, and we have four terrific children. We live in a nice house.

Yet despite all these outward appearances of success, I don’t feel satisfied. It is as if I work and work, get the house and then want a bigger or new house. No matter what happens, it’s never enough.

I finally get that promotion and make a lot more money, and within a year I am complaining that my income is too low. I treat myself and buy a new sports car. It feels good for the moment, and then I am onto the next yearning. It is this feeling of never enough.

Recently, I started seeing a therapist, and I told her that I feel like a hamster running and running on a wheel. I am trying to get to a state of peace, and yet all I do is run around and around, never getting anywhere. — Never Enough

Dear Never Enough: Thank you for writing to me. Most people in your situation continue running and running until they finally collapse. The truth is that you have the power to get off the hamster wheel. All you have to do is change your perspective. Instead of focusing on the next thing, focus on appreciating the here and now, starting with your wife and children.

Why were you attracted to your wife? What makes her special? Remember when each child was born — how you held them and loved them? Don’t let go of those feelings.

I am very encouraged that you are seeing a therapist. The more you can dissect what is causing you so much pain, the more you will appreciate all the great things in your life — starting with yourself. You have achieved a great deal, and you are becoming aware of how your self-criticism isn’t getting you anywhere. By continuing to go to therapy, and continuing to share your struggles, is only a matter of time before you appreciate the life you have created, and that those appreciative thoughts about your beautiful life become louder than the yearning thoughts.

Editor’s note: “Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.