Big apple dreams apparent
Dear Annie: I want to change my career path to pursue what I really want to do in life. I have two kids, a 2-year-old son and a 3-year-old daughter. Currently, I am a driver for Lyft and Uber, and I work more than 50 hours a week. I’m making a decent amount of money, but it’s not enough.
I’ve wanted to be a male entertainer since I was in high school. I’m 20 years old and in my first year of college now. Both of my babies’ mothers think that I’m out of my mind, even though I said they’d get free dances. But I think I can get by until I start making consistent income from entertaining.
I haven’t found any clients yet, but I’ve been thinking about moving to New York to follow my dream. Do you think I can succeed if I move to New York? I will be rooming with a buddy, also an aspiring male entertainer with two kids, coincidentally. He’s 32 years old, so I think I can learn a lot from him. — Wanting More from Life
Dear Wanting More from Life: It sounds like you have a lot from life already, with two beautiful children under the age of 3. Being present for your children is the most important thing you can do for them. Continue driving for Lyft and Uber while you finish college. There is a good chance that you will find a subject that you are passionate about that you can pursue as a career, maybe one that combines your passion for performance with a stable income. As for moving to New York to become a male entertainer, with two young children at home, it’s probably not the best idea. I think you know that.
Dear Annie: When I read the letter from “A Faithful Reader,” the grandmother who was concerned that her granddaughter “blew up,” I had an entirely different take on the situation. I, too, am a grandmother, but I felt that the person needing some help was the grandmother who wrote to you. Yes, she did a lot for the granddaughter over the years; however, the granddaughter is no longer a child and does not want her unsolicited assistance. The granddaughter is acting out of exasperation over a grandmother who has not realized that she is no longer a child and does not know how to relate to and respect her granddaughter as an adult.
The blow-ups are a response to the grandmother not only violating boundaries but also expecting to be appreciated for it. Her poor granddaughter has tried blowing up, but that still is not setting the situation right. It is too bad the granddaughter does not just tell her that she does not need her to move her car, fold her clothes or do other similar tasks.
I would never post a picture of a great-grandchild without the permission of the granddaughter. If the grandmother would treat the adult granddaughter with respect and dignity, and understand her boundaries, the blow-ups would not be needed to try to jolt the woman into the reality of her inappropriate and controlling behavior. — Respecting Boundaries
Dear Respecting Boundaries: I am printing your letter because respecting peoples’ boundaries is always an important key to good relationships. I also agree that posting pictures of children should always be up to the discretion of the parents.
Editor’s note: “Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.