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Dealing with money later in life

Dear Annie: My husband and I are in our mid-80s. During our life together, we’ve rarely discussed money. But it seems that my husband has taken on a different view since we moved to a senior residence. He does not ever consider that seeing as we both share the expenses of living here, some money that comes to him should be shared with me. It is impossible to talk to him about it, as he gets very upset and defensive. I only want what I am entitled to. I am not a money grabber, but this is the mood that has taken over our daily lives. Something has to be done about his attitude and possessiveness in order for us to live peacefully and lovingly in our late years. Please help. — Sally

Dear Sally: The fact that this was never an issue until now makes me think it has to do with your move to the senior residence. Perhaps after leaving your former home, your husband feels as if he gave up some control and controlling money is his way of coping — but that’s just speculation. The only way to know for sure why he’s acting this way is to ask. Using a gentle tone, ask why this is important to him. Explain where you’re coming from and why this has been hurtful to you. Discuss any concerns that have been on both your minds about adjusting to the new living situation. Emphasize that you want to spend these years enjoying each other’s company.

You’ve shared a wonderful life together so far. I truly believe this is nothing you two can’t solve using love and communication.

Editor’s note: Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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