Annie Lane, syndicated columnist

Dear Annie: My granddaughter allows her son to order mocktails — drinks that sound like the adult version but don’t have liquor in them. Even though they are virgin drinks, I’m afraid this will lead him to drinking real alcohol at a young age.

What do you think? — Concerned About the Message

Dear Concerned: Your worry comes from a loving place. To you, these mocktails feel like “training wheels” for real drinks, making alcohol seem glamorous before your great-grandson is old enough to understand it.

Still, a Shirley Temple with a cherry in it is not the same as handing him an old-fashioned. Your granddaughter may simply see it as a fun treat that helps him feel included on special occasions.

Unless you see signs of a broader unhealthy attitude toward drinking, this is probably not a battle worth picking. In the long run, the example the adults in his life set around alcohol will matter far more than those virgin pina coladas ever will.

Dear Annie: My 72-year-old husband has spent 53 years working for the U.S. Postal Service and refuses to retire.

He has several health issues and recently had a noncancerous brain tumor removed. Despite being benign, this affected his balance, so he now uses a cane. I bought a flashlight attachment for the cane so when he comes home after the second shift (around 11 p.m.), he can see his path. I also had a handicap ramp installed at the front of the house in preparation for what may come next.

Despite his doctor’s concerns about his blood sugar and blood pressure, he refuses to monitor either. He’s now on several medications, including a GLP-1 drug, and he has lotions for psoriasis that appeared after 49 years. Whenever I ask how he’s feeling, I’m met with hostile responses.

We were supposed to have a fine retirement — travel, move to a warmer climate — but instead we’re still in New England facing winters he can no longer help manage. I do what I can, but I’m 66 myself, with a knee replacement and weight-loss surgery behind me, so heavy lifting is out of the question.

It’s expensive to hire landscapers, plumbers and electricians to do what we can’t. We have a new furnace, roof, gutters, two bow windows, a repainted house and new ramp installed. We hired a contractor to fix the garage door and front door and do some cement work, but he took our $11,000 and didn’t finish most projects.

Do you have any advice? — Tired and Broken

Dear Tired and Broken: Anyone carrying the load you are would feel tired and broken, too. Your husband is probably scared by his aging and declining health — but refusing to monitor his conditions and taking that fear out on you won’t change reality.

Talk to him plainly and calmly: The current situation is no longer sustainable for you physically, emotionally or financially. It’s time to rethink the retirement you once imagined and make a new game plan.

Downsizing and moving someplace warmer is still a good idea that can ease some of the strain. Ask if he’d consider cutting back to part time at work if he won’t fully retire. Small changes can make a big difference.

And don’t let that contractor ride off into the sunset with your money. Report him to your state attorney general or consumer protection office. Chances are you’re not the only people he’s done this to.

EDITOR’S NOTE: “Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.