Annie Lane, syndicated columnist

Dear Annie: I have had dogs my whole life and treat them like members of my family. When they are sick, they go to the vet and get the medicine they need. I have spent thousands of dollars on surgeries for my dogs and recently hundreds more on blood tests and evaluations for separate issues.

My husband thinks it is ridiculous to spend this much money on the care of animals and thinks there is a limit to what we should spend on our “pets” before we basically allow them to die.

Do you think we should have limits on what we spend on veterinary care for members of our families? How do you make a decision to stop spending money on them when they have so much more life to live? Thanks for your advice. — Limitless Love

Dear Limitless: Every person has a different threshold for the dollar amount they are willing to spend on a pet. In the future, it probably makes sense to discuss what that number is before getting an animal with a partner. Consider your financial situation and your pet’s odds of recovery when having these conversations.

Dear Annie: My husband has an old and trusted friend; they go back many years. The problem is not his friend but his handicapped grandson. This child has been “acting out” since he was a toddler. During a visit to our home, the grandson physically assaulted me, and I was in extreme pain for days. The incident was basically swept under the rug.

Here’s the problem: I refuse to visit this man and his wife because I am deathly afraid of their grandson. He was 7 when the incident occurred and is now 12 and can probably do even more damage. My husband says this is insulting to his BFF and his wife and that I am being a witch to not go to their home. I would go if their grandson were not there, but my husband refuses to ask for this concession.

Am I being unreasonable? Is there any other way to handle the situation? Thank you. — Scared and Uncomfortable

Dear Scared and Uncomfortable: It’s not unreasonable to feel frightened after this child directed a violent outburst toward you. I’m surprised your husband doesn’t seem to be validating your feelings around this trauma in the slightest.

It sounds like your husband is close enough with his friend to gently but candidly share how you feel. If this other couple knew how that episode continues to impact you, they might be more understanding of your absences and willing to commit to adult-only, public plans moving forward, child care permitting.

EDITOR’S NOTE: “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.