DEAR ABBY: Six months into the pandemic I was furloughed, then laid off a few months later. Because of the loss of income, I could no longer afford my rent and was forced to move. It was tough finding anything affordable in the area. A good friend from college (“Josie”) and her husband own a big home with a detached guest house, and offered me the opportunity to rent for next to nothing until I found a new job. I was super happy about it because we are very close friends from college.
Josie, her husband and I often BBQ together and hang out watching movies. One night recently, Josie had to work late, and her husband and I had dinner and wine. We got pretty drunk, and I decided to turn in early. Before I went to bed, Josie’s husband asked me to have a threesome. He said Josie was going to ask me, but she was nervous about it, so she chickened out. I think my jaw must have hit the ground. I didn’t know what to say, so I told him I’d “think about it.”
A week has passed and Josie hasn’t mentioned anything about the threesome, but I’m scared to bring it up. I don’t know if her husband was telling the truth. They MAY want a threesome, but I’m not into it. If I say “no” it might make things weird between us. What should I do? Should I ask Josie about it, or move out back home with my parents till I find a new job? — NOT WHAT I BARGAINED FOR
DEAR NOT: The husband’s drunken proposition has already made things weird, but let it go — for now. I doubt this is something Josie is “too chicken” to ask you. IF he raises the subject again, make it plain that you are not into threesomes and not to ask again. If he presses further, inform your old college chum, pack your bags and go to your parents.’
DEAR ABBY: My husband’s daughter “Crystal” is married to “Jeremy,” who is a racist. I know this because of comments he has made over the past five years. At our only granddaughter’s first birthday celebration, my husband and Jeremy got into a heated argument (a little politics, a little racism). Since we live out of state, we were supposed to stay with them, but we had to leave. Jeremy started screaming at my husband, calling him a pedophile and some other awful names.
Crystal is demanding an apology from us and refuses to communicate or send photos of the baby until he does. My husband feels that Crystal’s mind is made up and she will defend her husband no matter what, so there’s no point.
I hate that we’re at an impasse. She has cut me off as well. Do you have any suggestions? — CUT OFF IN THE SOUTH
DEAR CUT OFF: Crystal, whose views on race seem to coincide with her husband’s, has you sidelined already. When your husband craves contact with his daughter and his grandchild, he will hold his nose, reach out and offer to mend fences. Until that happens, listen to what he is telling you and stay out of this mess.
Editor’s note: Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. To receive a collection of Abby’s most memorable — and most frequently requested — poems and essays, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby — Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)