By SCOTT LOSEE

8-18 Media

Special to the Journal

As Gollum was falling towards the lava he was happy, then he hit the lava. It stung like quintillion killer bees stinging him simultaneously (how he knew what that felt like I do not know). Then suddenly he melted into an alternate dimension, the Dry Dock Restaurant and Grill.

First thing first, Gollum wanted fish, he was famished. He went to the bar and said “Where is the water, I want fish.” The barman said, “We don’t have a pool or a lake but we have fish- n -chips.” Gollum replied, “We don’t want your nasty chips! Chips are nasty, I like fish alive and wriggling!” The barman said, “Jeez, there’s a lake that way” as he pointed east.

He reached Lake Superior on the way he stole a ring from some random old lady. We will not tell exactly what happened but there was pushing involved (the lady recovered the ring). As he was looking for fish Gollum saw a little boy and his dad using peculiar rods to catch fish. The little boy caught a large one and as quick as lightning Gollum stole it and ran off to eat it in the shrubs. Gollum ate it in 17 seconds.

Then he heard “beep beep beep.” A guy with a metal detector found something and started digging with a shovel, when the guy wasn’t looking, Gollum took the metal detector and buried it in the sand. Gollum decided he was still hungry so he walked to the edge of the lake and walked in. He found a tiny fish, it was swimming close to the top, Gollum snatched it and ate it in 0.9 seconds. Then he ran off towards Marquette. He found a beach with lots of people on it, he decided that this was his beach and that everyone on it was trespassing. So Gollum said to himself, “I pretend like shark and all nasty people run away.” So he put his hands together and put them on his head. Then he went in the water without anybody seeing him. He swam towards a little girl and she screamed “SHARK!” Gollum laughed in his head. Two seconds later everybody was gone then he laughed a lot ( when I say a lot I mean a lot). But Gollum decided this was a boring beach and that he should find his precious (the ring of power).

Gollum ended up in Marquette where he saw the RING ON A SHELF. He tried to grab it but his hand hit an invisible wall. “Curse its!” Gollum said and tried again. Once again it did not work. “Curse curse curse its.” By now he was drawing a crowd. Then he broke the glass. He grabbed the ring and ran off. Then Gollum heard a loud weeeeeeeeee oooooooooooo weeeeeeeeeee ooooooooooo.

Gollum was happy he had the ring at last! He tried to put it on and become invisible, but it did not work! He was not happy now. He jumped in the back of a red truck and hid behind three chainsaws. Then the door closed and the truck started moving.

Some weird guy named Bill was driving to Blackrocks (not the brewery). The police got closer. Bill drove faster. The police drove faster. Bill finally noticed that he was the one who was being chased. “Oh no!” Bill said (Bill did not actually say “Oh no” he said something else.) He pulled over. Bill talked to the officer and finally the back door opened and Bill said what the heck is that ( Bill did not say “heck”).

Gollum made use of his legs.He ran like the wind. Bill said, ” Wow he’s fast. He could outrun my mustang!” Gollum ran all the way to the Blackrocks. The police followed him and cornered him on the edge of the 30-foot cliff. Gollum jumped and just before he hit the water he disappeared. The police walked away and started muttering what a weird dream…meanwhile, Gollum appeared in Mt. Doom falling from the cliff into the lava with nine-fingered Frodo hanging from it. Gollum hit the lava. The End.

Scott Losee is 12, and enjoys being the Dungeon master in D&D and watching old Godzilla movies.