Dear Readers: One of the most common themes in letters I receive involve hurt feelings, anger or resentment over being criticized. I’ve been giving this a lot of thought lately and found a brilliant article that appeared earlier this year in the Harvard Business Review that addresses this issue. The article is by leadership expert and best-selling author Peter Bregman.

Bregman presents 13 ways that we react to negative feedback. They include justifying, rationalizing or ignoring negative feedback:

1. Play Victim: “Yes, that’s true, but it’s not my fault.”

2. Take Pride: “Yes, that’s true, but it’s a good thing.”

3. Minimize: “It’s really not such a big deal.”

4. Deny: “I don’t do that!”

5. Avoid: “I don’t need this job!”

6. Blame: “The problem is the people around me. I hire badly.”

7. Counter: “There are lots of examples of me acting differently.”

8. Attack: “I may have done this (awful thing), but you did this (other awful thing).”

9. Negate: “You don’t really know anything about X.”

10. Deflect: “That’s not the real issue.”

11. Invalidate: “I’ve asked others and nobody agrees with the feedback.”

12. Joke: “I never knew I was such a jerk.”

13. Exaggerate: “This is terrible, I’m really awful.”

When I read this list, I saw myself many times in his reaction summaries. Bregman offers a perfect reply for handling negative feedback: “I really appreciate your taking the time and the effort to tell me. Thank you.”

I love it because it is short and sweet and nondefensive. I hope all of you who have written to me about handling criticism will find this helpful.

Dear Readers: If any of you have nice Father’s Day poems or tributes that you would like me to print, please submit them! I always love hearing loving stories.

Editor’s note: Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.