Steve Brownlee

Isn’t this a fine kettle of fish we find ourselves in?

That’s the old-fashioned quote that popped up in my mind when I realized which two teams are left vying for the only remaining wild-card spot on the NFC side of the NFL playoffs after Sunday afternoon’s games were over.

The Packers and the Lions.

I thought the “kettle of fish” phrase came out of old 1930s-era black-and-white movies, maybe W.C. Fields, The Three Stooges, Laurel and Hardy or even Mae West.

Sounds like it goes back to the 18th century, actually, but whatever — this isn’t a dissertation on the English language in this space.

Technically, in the NFC there’s another playoff spot still open, but the South Division title has to be decided between two teams from that division, Carolina and Tampa Bay, after the Panthers took out the Bucs 23-20 on Sunday.

The one we care about, and the one I would guess that fans of other NFC playoff teams have the most interest in, is between our favorite NFC North teams.

Actually, for almost all of us, it’s one beloved team and one we hold not much more than contempt for. Which is which is entirely up to you the fan, whether you bleed Packers’ green and gold or Lions’ Honolulu blue.

I’d almost be tempted to say it doesn’t much matter which team gets in the playoffs, as they both have the appearance of the walking wounded with all the injuries decimating their rosters.

I can’t see either the Packers or Lions getting far in the playoffs the way they’re playing, except for one thing — maybe whoever survives these final two weeks of the regular season will start mending up enough to become a force that comes out of nowhere against the likes of the Rams, Seahawks and even the Eagles.

And of course, all of us on either side of the Packers-Lions divide can all agree we’d like to see the Bears go down.

Green Bay won’t get Micah Parsons back, no matter how far the playoffs go, but there’s still a whole lot of other additions that can be made.

For Detroit, I can’t think of any single difference maker who has no chance to get back, but they’ll need a whole lot of offensive line and/or defensive talent to miraculously recover to get them right again.

So I guess we’ll hope for that while our teams are attempting to make a final playoff push.

And which team will make the biggest difference for this playoff spot? If you guessed the Vikings, you’re either a really lucky guesser or you’ve looked at the upcoming schedule.

The only team in the division still not in the playoff chase, Minnesota, is also on the schedule for both our teams, with both those games to be played in Minneapolis.

The Lions are there tomorrow on Christmas Day and for Green Bay is a Week 18 game listed as a “flex game,” meaning there’s a real chance it could be in prime time on either Saturday afternoon, Saturday night or Sunday night on Jan. 3 or 4.

Well, let’s get ready for another interesting NFL week, and maybe celebrate the holidays while we’re at it:

Thursday, 1 p.m.

Dallas at Washington — The Commanders are starting to dredge up old Lions’ QBs who weren’t good enough when Detroit was really bad, like Jeff Driskel, who was signed off the practice squad Monday from a current bumbling team, the Arizona Cardinals.

As bad as Dallas looks on defense, and also on the road, I’ll still take the Cowboys, 33-29.

Thursday, 4:30 p.m.

Detroit at Minnesota — Great! A national game we can all watch on Christmas Day!

Ah, sorry, got some bad news — you better get Netflix really fast, because the only places where the game will be on CBS are in the immediate Detroit and Minneapolis areas, from what I’m reading.

And we’re not “immediate Detroit” area around here. But there is the NBA quintuple-header, with the Mavericks-Warriors starting around the same time at 5 p.m.

For this matchup itself — that I won’t get to watch — I like the Lions due to their motivation of “win or go home,” except that was close to being true for Sunday’s game vs. the Steelers, too. And look what happened there.

On the other side, I see Vikings QB J.J. McCarthy injured his hand and left the game in favor of backup Max Brosmer — who? — playing the second half. While he was serviceable, it was against the Giants, a team whose defense is like Detroit’s, except they actually still have most of their defensive players.

So, hemming and hawing here, I’ll take the Lions, 34-30.

Thursday, 8:15 p.m.

Denver at Kansas City — Don’t kick a wounded animal, unless you’re going to put it out of its misery, and after the way the Denver defense was manhandled by Jacksonville on Sunday, I’d think they want to do some kicking for Christmas. Broncos, 23-10.

Saturday, 4:30 p.m.

Houston at Los Angeles Chargers — Two teams that are still somewhat flying under the radar with all-but-clinched AFC playoff spots. Each trails the leader in their division by one game with the Chargers still even holding out hope for the No. 1 seed in the AFC.

I do remember Chargers QB Justin Herbert getting knocked around in the pocket with an offensive line not doing a very good job protecting him. Not a good sign when going up against one of the most ferocious defenses that Houston features.

So just on that account, give me the Texans, 24-17.

Saturday, 8 p.m.

Baltimore at Green Bay — I see this is another game just like the Lions on Christmas, where you better have Peacock for this one unless you’re watching right around the suburban Green Bay area that will have it on a local NBC affiliate.

Shut out again! Makes me want to think I should try something like an irate call or two, but to who?

Anyway, Baltimore’s Lamar Jackson may be in similar straits to Green Bay’s Jordan Love — dinged up but we’re not too sure this early in the week whether either will be available.

Assuming they’ll either both be in or both be out, I still like the Packers, 27-23.

Sunday, 1 p.m.

Arizona at Cincinnati — Who cares? Oh yeah, I’m supposed to. So without too much research, it looks like Cincy at least showed some life this week, putting up 45 points on the Dolphins for an easy win. Just on that basis, I’ll take the Bengals, 26-20.

Jacksonville at Indianapolis — I’m not counting on too much from a Colts team with a QB who hadn’t played in five years and is 44 years old vs. maybe THE most overlooked playoff team. Jaguars, 31-21.

New England at New York Jets — They put some stat up this week on TV, and since I wasn’t sure I heard it correctly, I looked it up online and confirmed it — the Jets’ defense, in 15 games, doesn’t have one SINGLE interception. Not one.

The 49ers are the next lowest in the league with five, while the Packers with seven interceptions have no return yards in any of their picks this season. But at least they made the catch by one of their defensive players seven times.

Just on that basis, keep me away from the Jets from now on. Patriots, 35-20.

New Orleans at Tennessee — Until just a few weeks ago, this game looked like a lock to determine the No. 1 draft choice in April. Now, though, both are coming off wins where they didn’t even give up 10 points.

So what if the Saints beat the interception-less Jets and Tennessee took down the third-string-QB Chiefs?

I could never remember if home field meant more when two good teams got together, or when two bad teams squared off. Just by intuition, I’d think a good team could win anywhere. So I’ll use home field advantage to take the Titans, 22-17.

Pittsburgh at Cleveland — I’d hate to think the Steelers put forth all that effort to win in Detroit, just to turn around and give it away against a bottom-dweller from its own division. Remembering all those years when Pittsburgh ruled the AFC North, give me the Steelers, 33-23.

Seattle at Carolina — Both are coming off huge wins that gave them great playoff positioning, Seattle for the No. 1 seed in the NFC and the Panthers just to get in at all.

With reverse momentum calling for flops from both, that basically cancels itself out. So considering who started out on a higher plane, I’m taking the Seahawks, 24-16.

Tampa Bay at Miami — Now, just the reverse. Both had things to gain by winning last week, but the Bucs lost control of their division and I think the Dolphins lost control of their digestive system when they gave up 45 to the Bengals.

I’ll take the one that won’t be leaning over a bucket in the morning. Buccaneers, 20-12.

Sunday, 4 p.m.

New York Giants at Las Vegas — This actually is the No. 1 Draft Pick Bowl — these are the only pair of two-win teams left in the league. The loser of this game, assuming they can also pull out a loss in the final week, will have that No. 1 choice sewn up.

There is one mitigating circumstance, however — there seems to be a great likelihood that both current head coaches won’t be around to make that pick, the Giants’ interim coach Mike Kafka and the Raiders’ Pete Carroll.

So showing that they’re at least trying, let’s go with the Giants, 18-15.

Philadelphia at Buffalo — Everyone was convinced two weeks ago that the Eagles would win the NFC East. Not because they were playing well, but because they had the Raiders and Washington twice in the final four weeks. Everyone assumed they’d lose this game against Buffalo, however, so I will too. Bills, 30-19.

Sunday, 8:20 p.m.

Chicago at San Francisco — From what I remember, San Fran had Ben Johnson’s number when he was offensive coordinator with the Lions. Why change it now? 49ers, 23-17.

Monday, 8:15 p.m.

Los Angeles Rams at Atlanta — Even if the Rams look shut out from winning their division by the time this game’s played, they still have something to play for — the top wild-card position, which draws the worst division winner in the opening round.

And that team is likely to be an NFC South team, Carolina or Tampa Bay, so why not get in some practice on one of their divisional little brothers in Atlanta? Rams, 38-22.

Last week — 12-4, 75 percent. Season — 142-96, 60 percent.

Journal Sports Editor Steve Brownlee’s email address is sbrownlee@miningjournal.net.