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Cheap tickets for certain NFL games not really nirvana

Steve Brownlee

Have I got a deal for you!

We’re leaving Saturday for Washington, D.C., though I better not tell you why.

Wait! You mean you’d really accompany me to see the Detroit Lions play at the Redskins this weekend!?!?

Well, sorry, I’m not really going, not even with the $7 seats I found advertised online at FexEx Field in Landover, Maryland.

It’s true — on vividseats.com, through a link from espn.com, there are at least five seats each at that price for Sunday’s game in Upper Level 404, Row 13; Upper Level 405, Row 2 …. and on and on for five or six nosebleed sections.

This deal reminds me of the worst motel room I ever rented. During the 1980s I stayed at a place that charged $12 a night — and I got exactly what I paid for.

Now it’s nearly 40 years later and you can watch this NFL game for a hair more than half of what I paid for that terrible room with the terrible mattress and things I swear I kept seeing crawl across the floor out of the corner of my eye.

When I looked straight at a spot, nothing crawled. But it was enough to keep me from getting any sleep that night.

Enough about my poor personal choices. Instead, let’s look at how far Washington has sunk. On an ESPN site with the Lions’ schedule where it lists “Tickets as low as $7” for the Redskins game, the Detroit game at Minnesota only lists the lowest-price ticket at $120, the lowest for the home game vs. the Bears for $96, and even the lowest for a Ford Field game against Tampa Bay for $34.

Heck, I can buy five tickets to watch the Redskins for the price of a Bucs’ ticket.

Way to go, Washington owner Daniel Snyder, owner of a team that needed the full 60 minutes to get by the tanking Miami Dolphins about a month ago.

I’ll revisit this game about halfway through today’s picks:

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Today, 8:20 p.m.

Indianapolis at Houston — As poorly as my picking’s been lately, it’s time to get proactive and quit basing everything on last weekend’s results.

Based on last weekend, Indy is 54 points better than the Texans after the Colts’ 20-point win over Jacksonville and Houston’s 34-point loss to Baltimore.

But guess who’s angrier? The Texans, 34-20.

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Sunday, 1 p.m.

Tampa Bay at Atlanta — Apparently, moving ex-NFL head coach Raheem Morris to defensive coordinator has totally woken up the Falcons, who haven’t given up a touchdown in 10 quarters. And this from a unit that is still seventh-worst in the league in points allowed.

By the way, Tampa is 51 points worse in that category and just skimming above the bottom of the league. Falcons, 33-27.

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Denver at Buffalo — Offense has become a real challenge for Buffalo. But that’s OK, protecting 20-point halftime leads is even harder for the Broncos — just ask Minnesota. Bills, 20-13.

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New York Giants at Chicago — Here’s hoping the front-row seats for this game go for $7 — maybe $8 if they throw in a hot chocolate. Only because of Chicago’s superior defense, Bears, 17-12.

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Pittsburgh at Cincinnati — The window’s closing on the Bengals’ chances of avoiding 0-16. Best bets are next week’s home game against the Jets or on Dec. 22 at Miami. I’ll put my money on a Christmas miracle at South Beach, and not a second earlier.

By the way, you can’t buy a ticket for either of those games for less than $16. I can take myself and a date to the Lions-Redskins game cheaper. Steelers, 30-20.

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Miami at Cleveland — Can these matchups get any better? As the kings of letdown, it’s obvious to pick against Cleveland this week, at least until you notice the opposition is a minor league team masquerading as major leaguers. Browns, 19-17.

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Carolina at New Orleans — The matchup of Atlanta’s past two victims. The wounds are fresher for the Panthers, but you just gotta believe N’awlins is ready to jump on the high-speed train again. Saints, 34-24.

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Oakland at New York Jets — Check out this rogue’s gallery — Denver, Indianapolis, Chicago, Detroit, the L.A. Chargers and Cincinnati.

That’s who the Raiders have beaten this season, every game by a touchdown or less. Remember what cross-country trips do to West Coast teams as this is the first team west of Dallas that New York has played, home or away. Jets, 23-19.

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Detroit at Washington — I’ll give this one a Kmart $7 blue-light special. Each in their current city since the 1930s, the Lions never — never ever — won in Washington until 2013. But have the Redskins ever been this bad? Lions, 24-20.

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Seattle at Philadelphia — This game was originally the Sunday night game until the league — in likelihood NBC — flexed in Green Bay at San Fran instead.

This could be a good game if the Eagles’ offense was back at full strength, but I haven’t seen anything indicating it is. Seahawks, 27-21.

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Sunday, 4 p.m.

Jacksonville at Tennessee — At least they picked a Southern site for a mid-November game this late in the day. Tennessee’s coming off the bye, so I’ll give the nod to the Titans, 23-17.

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Dallas at New England — The Cowboys could barely get past the Lions last week. How do you expect them to compete against the league’s elite? Patriots, 27-13.

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Sunday, 8:20 p.m.

Green Bay at San Francisco — Fox commentator Colin Cowherd’s interesting observation about the 49ers really resonates — San Fran’s defense is rendered much less effective against mobile quarterbacks, who keep its pass rushers at bay when facing that running threat.

After going against the stagnant feet of Andy Dalton, Baker Mayfield, Jared Goff and Kyle Allen and outscoring their first eight opponents 207-77, in the past three weeks the 49ers have twice struggled to beat Arizona’s Kyler Murray and lost to Seattle’s Russell Wilson in overtime.

Put Green Bay QB Aaron Rodgers in the mobile category, despite his 36th birthday coming up in a couple weeks. Packers, 29-20.

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Monday, 8:15 p.m.

Baltimore at Los Angeles Rams — The smart guys are giving the defense more credit than QB Lamar Jackson for the Ravens’ recent hot streak. No matter who deserves credit, Baltimore is good — like Super Bowl good. Ravens, 35-22.

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Last week — 10-4, 71 percent. Season — 106-55-1, 66 percent.

Steve Brownlee can be reached at 906-228-2500, ext. 252. His email address is sbrownlee@miningjournal.net.