And it’s still a mystery. We still haven’t gotten a clear explanation about why Mr. T started this strange war in Iran. He’s huffed and puffed about all sorts of bad things the Iranian government has done, from its assaults against its own citizens to its apparent efforts to develop a nuclear weapon. But as with so much of what the big guy pumps out in his late night Trust Social postings and his daily yak yaks with the press, there’s no real consistency in his war talk. It’s whatever blows into his mind one day and then he’s on to something else 24 hours later.

So, then, what about the Hollywood-based explanation offered by some of Mr. T’s political analysts? That this armed excursion into Iran is really a “Wag the Dog” operation. (In the movie of the same name, a couple of shady political operatives work up a full-blown war against Albania in order to divert attention from a sexual scandal involving the president.) For almost a year, Trump’s once-upon-a-time friendship with the sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein had been a major PR problem for the president. Then he launched his war and we saw a marked reduction in the media churn about Epstein. But it didn’t last. The Epstein scandal is now back in the news. And so what is Mr. T’s response? Sounds like an even crazier pooch bit this time, with expletive-laden threats to bomb the Iranians back to the stone-age.

Another movie that comes to mind in trying to make sense of Mr. T and his Iranian adventure is the Marx Brothers classic “Duck Soup.” The plotline here follows the whacky antics of the newly installed president of Freedonia, Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho), as he stomps around a Mar a Lago-like presidential palace, insulting visitors, ogling pretty woman, issuing inane proclamations and getting into a physical tiff with the prime minister of Sylvania. This leads to talk of war and a search for a secret war plan led by Firefly’s halfwit War Secretary. After a song and dance romp celebrating war, we get the big finish: Firefly at a front-line post, with shells flying overhead, grabbing a gun and blasting away at the Sylvanian interlopers.

Okay, so the “Duck Soup” finale is a bit much. We’ll certainly never see our beloved Donald J. wearing a red MAGA helmet and an XX-Large flak jacket leading the marines ashore at the Strait of Hormuz. After all, the poor fellow does have that bone spur issue. As far as a plausible Hollywood ending to Mr. T’s contrived war is concerned, I suppose anything is possible. If the Iranian clerics come up with some kind of peace ploy that benefits the Trump family’s financial interests in the middle- east, secretly of course, I’d guess that might be a most attractive option for our head deal-maker.