To the Journal editor:

Fathers Day. On this day, everyone pauses to reflect in some measure or other.

I reflect on my own father, Earl William Tooman, born in 1910 in a primitive farm house on the Ohio prairie. A product of his time and culture, he did not always do fathering well.

The only time I saw him cry, other than my mother’s death, was the June night 65 years ago when I boarded the Nickel Plate Railroad in Ft. Wayne, Indiana and headed for Fort Leonard Wood.

Sometimes, however, he was outstanding. I am convinced of this: given his culture and times, he did everything he did in the best way he knew how. Today, I offer him love by remembering the best, forgiving the rest.

I reflect on my own fathering: three natural children and two stepchildren. I, too, have not always done fathering well. I, too, however, strive to give it the best I have. At age 83, I am still fathering and grandfathering, not in an intrusive way, I hope.

And I am sensing that all five children are granting me the grace of remembering the best and forgiving the rest. They have a lot to forgive. Two questions always before me: Where am I doing it well? Where can I do it better? Life questions, in fact.

I reflect on my Heavenly Father. The source and standard for love, wisdom, faith, hope, forgiveness, patience, kindness, joy, peace, goodness, gentleness, self-discipline and more. The One who initiated Remember the best, forgive the rest. My concept of, and my relationship with, Him determine everything else about me.

Blessings on you, your father (he comes to work with you every day), and your fathering. Remember the best, forgive the rest.

Chuck Tooman

Marquette