Rabbits, Big Bay tails

To the Journal editor:

Like most major Michigan villages, Big Bay is not immune to community crises that threaten its social cohesion. But this crisis is a potential gold mine, put in the hands of the right cable network producer.

Think about it. At first it seemed quaint and charming, and I’m sure Alfred Hitchcock wanted Tippi Hedren to see it that way when she drove into Montego Bay, an expression of Mother Nature’s sublime and assumedly benign, fauna.

Think about it, Montego Bay, Big Bay. Get it? Hitch had his birds and we’ve got our rabbits! What about “Anatomy of a Murder,” you say? Well, “The Birds” was bigger. I’m sure the Powell Township Cinema Society would agree, it’s time to outdo Preminger and Hitchcock with the best combination thriller, nature show and science-fiction, fantasy epic of ’em all!

I propose a sequel to the 1972 epic, William F. Claxton’s “Night of the Lepus.” My working title is “Lepus II: The Harror of Thunder Bay.” Get it, “Harror” rather than “Horror.”

The plot involves various ominously colored rabbits lurking threateningly on the streets of the village, causing the citizens to gossip about what to do with the growing cottontail menace. And isn’t that exactly what’s now happening in our fair hamlet?

Take a look around Big Bay. It’s rabbitville, man! To address this growing problem, the Ann Arbor soul-rock band, FUBAR, will be playing a three-night engagement at Big Bay’s poshest nightclub, The Lumberjack Tavern, to raise rabbit awareness.