Writer feels he’s just going through the motions
Dear Annie: Why am I in a quandary? Because I have been married most of my adult life, and I feel almost nothing for my partner of 33 years, and I’m sure we are both just going through the motions of the relationship. Don’t misunderstand; I care deeply for this person. I just feel unfulfilled, and I can’t explain it.
I guess it’s complacency on both our parts. She says she loves me, but she had an affair a couple of years ago with her old boyfriend, and even with counseling, I can’t seem to put it in the past.
Do you have any suggestions for me? Believe me, I have not been a saint in our marriage, but I have not cheated. — In a Quandary
Dear In a Quandary: Your quandary is within you, and you have the choice of whether or not to truly forgive your wife. It sounds like you are — understandably — still feeling upset and hurt about her affair. Consider going back into counseling and working through your relationship. As far as feeling unfulfilled by her, fulfillment does not come from another person. It comes from within yourself. Healthy relationships flourish when two fulfilled people come together and accompany each other on this beautiful journey of life.
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