Editor’s note: Last names are not used in the story to protect the privacy of caregivers and their loved ones.

By VICKIE FEE

Journal Staff Writer

MARQUETTE — The Upper Peninsula Commission for Area Progress is once again offering its dementia caregiving series free via Zoom.

The three-part series will be held on consecutive Thursdays, July 25, Aug. 1, and Aug.8 from 2 to 3 p.m. Anyone interested in the sessions can register online at www.upcap.org. The deadline for registration is July 21.

One of the individuals who previously participated in the series is Peggy, whose advice to anyone who is interested in signing up is to “just do it.”

Peggy is a caregiver for her husband Mike, who has been diagnosed with advancing demetia after suffering a seizure in 2020.

“I saw an UPCAP dementia workshop ad and called immediately. I had felt like I was failing him,” she said. “I learned to keep it simple and take things a day at a time. I learned to take care of myself, too. You can lose yourself when you’re taking care of someone else.”

Peggy and Mike have been married for 52 years. Mike had traveled a lot for work, so she was used to cooking only for herself during the week although Mike was always the cook in the family.

“Now the cooking is back to me,” she said. “It would be OK if we liked the same things. But I like salads, potato salad, tuna salad. He thinks about his mother’s cooking. A great-niece is making up a recipe book of his mom’s recipes. So, we’ll see how it goes.”

Sometimes, Mike will tell her she’s yelling at him.

“I have to remind him to put in his hearing aids. Otherwise, he can’t hear and I keep getting louder,” she said. “We’re still working on communication.”

Mike is still active, however. He can still drive and plays cribbage with his friends. Peggy says that she’s not sure how well he plays but his friends are still willing to play with him.

“They’ve been friends for ages, so I think they’re really patient.” she said.

Peggy says Mike is gradually getting worse in some areas. He suffers from anxiety, which was never part of his personality before, and the impacts on his memory are getting more clear.

“His brothers from Milwaukee came to visit. As soon as they left, he forgot they had come. He continues to ask where his parents are and they’ve been deceased more than 20 years,” she said.

Nancy is another person who participated in the caregiver workshop. She, along with her sister, takes care of their mother, who suffers from dementia. She says that the Zoom sessions were a great resource for information.

“I learned new ways to communicate with Mom, speak slowly and loudly, simplify our conversations and don’t ask if she ‘remembers,'” she said. “The truth and accuracy of her stories are not important anymore. Keeping her engaged in activities and feeling helpful are what is best.”

Like Peggy, she said that the caregiver series has helped her to help herself as much as to help her mother.

“I learned from the series that it’s also important for me to feel that I am doing my best to care for her,” Nancy said. “The caregivers series suggestions helped me to realize that I’m doing the best I can and so is my mom.”

The monthly support group helps many people in many ways, Nancy said.

“Our group members face different situations but we are all taking care of our loved ones,” she said. “My mom has fleeting moments of clarity that are getting less frequent. I rejoice in those moments but sometimes afterwards, my heart just breaks.”

Vickie Fee can be reached at 906-228-2500, ext. 542. Her email address is vfee@miningjournal.net