Loreene Zeno Koskey

Music, Scripture, social science, dialogue and silence were all part of the Women’s Day of Reflection recently held at St. Michael Parish.

The church welcomed back its former cantor and minister of liturgy and faith formation, Melanie Coddington, as the event’s speaker, who also led the group in song while playing an autoharp.

The now Virginia resident began her presentation by saying, “Enter into the quiet…Be ready to hear what the Holy Spirit will tell us and teach us.”

We first listened to the story of Mary and Martha from the Gospel of Luke, chapter 10, verses 38-42. We’re familiar with the story of Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to him, while Martha busied herself preparing a meal. Martha says, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” Then Jesus comes back with, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”

The first thought that comes to us is, of course, hearing what Jesus had to say is obviously more important than working in the kitchen! However, Melanie pointed out that in the culture of the time, “Hospitality… was considered sacred.” Honor was also a strong cultural norm. Martha felt she was doing the honorable thing, while Mary was behaving improperly (especially since she was taking the pose of a disciple at the Master’s feet, which was something only men did, but that’s another story).

Yet, Jesus corrects Martha. Knowing that we can learn from both Martha and Mary, Melanie explained, “Spiritual hospitality is paying attention, being fully present and listening” to the people you are with. She feels the ‘better part’ is “the balance between ‘doing for’ and ‘being with.'”

That message resonated with me, recalling the time when my dad (now deceased) was suffering from dementia and living at the Jacobetti Home for Veterans. I had picked him up to spend Christmas Day at my house with my daughter, Rachel, and her family.

I was busy getting supper ready in the kitchen, like Martha, when Rachel approached me. She said my dad was getting agitated with all the commotion in our living room, and I needed to come and be with him. I did need to return to my dinner preparations at some point, but spending time with my father was what was called for at that moment.

The second part of the Day of Reflection focused on building a bridge to peace by embracing the love of God for neighbor, self and enemy.

The first job is loving ourselves. “Our trust in God rests in God’s love for us,” Melanie said. We need to treat ourselves with compassion. Secondly, we must love our neighbors, who may be a different color than us, come from a foreign country or be downright prickly and ungrateful when we try to befriend or serve them. Melanie suggested a good place to start might be speaking with the residents of Room at the Inn. “That’s your opportunity to meet Jesus face to face.”

In following Christ’s mandate to love our enemies, we must realize that those “enemies” may be far away or nearby. They could be people in our own community who simply see the world differently from us. Melanie said, “Division is coming at us all the time. . . How do we move toward reconciliation?”

Her answer? “We have got to be in dialogue with each other,” keeping an open heart and an open mind. “They might disagree with you; be curious, be respectful, be willing to listen and be willing to share (your story).” Melanie noted that dialogue could lead to conversion on both sides. Now, isn’t that something worth working toward?

EDITOR’S NOTE: Loreene Zeno Koskey is a member of St. Michael Catholic Church, which will host a Men’s Day of Reflection on Saturday, March 1.