David Van Kley, Journal columnist

When I was a child, my father claimed I had a convenient memory: “You remember promises like ‘we’ll go out for ice cream tonight,’ but somehow always forget when I ask you to mow the grass!” There may have been some truth in the accusation.

It strikes me that, in my sixties, I have a rather inconvenient memory: halfway through a sentence, I search for just the right word, which somehow seems to elude me! Of course, that experience is not unique to me–nor is it always related to age.

Memory plays a critical role in our lives. Memories help us function from day to day: almost without thinking, we drive the familiar route to the grocery store or show up after school to pick up the kids.

Memories bring great joy. I keep a photo of our 4 ½ year old daughter and her 3-year-old brother on my desk. They are standing in front of the TV watching an exercise program of some sort. The leader stands with her back to the camera, both arms at her side. Our daughter follows suit, arm pinned tightly to her hips, but her younger brother is a little behind the curve, arms outstretched like an airplane coming in for a landing. Now that our children are 42 and 41 years old, I need that snapshot to remind me of those days when they were small, delighting us with every new discovery.

Of course, memories are not always good. Some memories are sad, difficult, hurtful. Some still stir up anger within us. We are told to forgive and forget, but it is not easy to do either one of these things.

If we were responsible for hurting another, guilt and shame may accompany those memories. It is not easy to forgive or forget those, either.

Today, we are becoming more keenly aware of our corporate guilt as Americans: slavery and the legacy of violent racism and subtle bias left in its wake, colonization, boarding schools, and the decimation of native life and culture, the Me-Too movement, the role of the Christian Church in all of these things.

These are things we should not forget. Without remembering, how can we learn from them? Memory is the engine of change.

But memory can also leave you discouraged and bitter.

Looking back on life, the writer of Psalm 25 cries out to God: “Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for your goodness’ sake, O LORD.” The psalmist is counting on God to remember in a different way than we do as humans. While God calls us to live justly and kindly, God also grants the kind of forgiveness that allows us to pick up the pieces of our broken lives and begin anew. That very steadfast love is revealed to us in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ Jesus.

Looking back over our lives, corporate and personal, God filters our experience through the lens of divine love which, which combined with human memory, can affect real change.

Thanks be to God!

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Rev. David Van Kley is a retired pastor of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.