James A. Surrell, M.D.

We have all heard the following phrase, believed to have originated in 1894, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. Rudyard Kipling, who certainly knew something about the power of words, gives us all some clear insight into the power of words with his famous quote, “Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” We may underestimate the true power of spoken or written words, and it is so important to understand how our words may have a very strong positive or negative impact on ourselves and on others.

How we use our words is our choice, and the words we choose will always have consequences. Our words can and should be used to encourage, to inspire, to teach, to speak the truth, and to generally offer a positive influence. Unfortunately, our words may also be used to discourage, to humiliate, to criticize, to lie, to gossip, to bully, often with a resulting negative influence on others. So, how we use our words when interacting with others is our choice, and I believe we should choose to offer truthful words of encouragement, keeping in mind the potential impact that our words may carry. In this regard, perhaps one bit of advice we all should heed is the following classic quote from Thumper the Rabbit in the 1942 Disney movie, “Bambi.” Here’s Thumper’s famous quote, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”

Know that we also have choices to make when we are on the receiving end of spoken or written words. When words are said to us or about us, know that we have been given the ability to choose to accept positive words, or to choose not to accept negative words. Here is some great advice from the classic book by Don Miguel Ruiz, “The Four Agreements.” The author advises us, “Don’t Take Anything Personally.” Know that it is always our choice to accept or to not accept what others say to us or about us. Therefore, if we don’t take negative words personally, we can hardly be hurt by any negative words or comments directed to us from others.

We also need to realize that we all do “self-talk,” usually without actively thinking about doing this at all. In the self-talk that we all do, it is important that we do not use any negative words against ourselves. Perhaps the best thing ever said about how very important our self-talk is to our personal success or failure is from Henry Ford. I personally believe his quote says it all with regard to self-talk. From Mr. Ford, “If you think you can, or if you think you can’t, you’re right.” Let us all use only positive self-talk.

It will serve us well to always recall that our words are very powerful, and that our words have the strong potential to influence the lives of others. Perhaps this is especially important when speaking to children, who will generally accept without question what is spoken to them. Bottom line – we should always exercise good judgment with our written and spoken words that we direct to others.