Dr. James Surrell, Journal columnist

In just a few days, we will be celebrating our wonderful blessed Christmas and then a week later we will bring in the new year of 2022.

As we all know, it has been quite a year for all of us in 2021. To hopefully bring some humor to our special holiday season, I have shared below a few of my silly third grade level Christmas and New Year’s jokes. I sincerely hope you enjoy them, and share them as you wish, during this joyful time of the year in our wonderful Upper Peninsula.

CHRISTMAS JOKES

What is the favorite subject of Santa’s Elves in school? Of course, it is the ELF-abet.

In my genetics lab, I crossed my Christmas tree with my laptop and got a “Pine-Apple.”

I just figured out why Santa is so very good at karate. It’s because he has a “Black Belt.”

Why does Santa Claus have 3 gardens? Because he really likes to “Ho, Ho, Ho.”

What kind of motorcycle does Santa drive in the summertime? A “Holly” Davidson.

What did Mrs. Claus say when Santa asked her, “What does the weather look like?” Mrs. Claus replied, “It looks like Rain-Dear”.

How much did Santa Claus pay for his sleigh? He paid nothing because it was “On the House”.

The 4 stages of a man’s life: 1. You believe in Santa Claus. 2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3. You dress up as Santa Claus. 4. You look like Santa Claus.

NEW YEAR’S JOKES

Here is my brief New Year’s definition — “In one year and out the other.”

I asked a lady if she had a date for New Year’s Eve. She said, “Yes, it’s December 31st.”

On January 1, 2022, we can all say that we remember 2021 like it was just yesterday.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby New Year.

What can you say to friends on New Year’s Day? “I haven’t seen you since last year!”

For my New Year’s resolution, I was going to stop procrastinating, but then I decided to put it off for another year.

What did Adam say to Eve on December 31st? It’s New Year’s, Eve.

Following is a New Year’s wish for all of us to consider. May any personal problems that I may encounter in 2022 last only as long as my 2022 New Year’s resolutions.

I sincerely wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Blessed and Joyful New Year in 2022.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Dr. Jim Surrell is the author of “The ABC’s For Success In All We Do” and the “SOS (Stop Only Sugar) Diet” books.Contact Dr. Surrell by email at sosdietdoc@gmail.com.