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Musings of a Matriarch: Advertising without words not a clever idea

Sharon Kennedy

When I’m watching a program on Hulu and an advertisement comes on, I leave my chair. For some time now, I’ve noticed the trend where companies skip the script and advertise only with music. I don’t understand this line of reasoning. Does the company think I’m going to remain seated and watch their wordless ad when what I’m really going to do is raid the fridge or head for the bathroom?

Companies that don’t use words to promote their products have a vanity problem. I guess they assume we’ll know what they’re selling by the notes of a 30-second musical tune. That irritates me. Imagine if the pharmaceuticals advertised that way. We’d never know all the side effects of the drugs they’re selling. We would see happy people involved in sports or shopping or playing with their loved ones. We might find the ad clever or amusing, but we wouldn’t be aware of all the side effects and damage the pill causes in its attempt to “heal” us or “lessen our pain.”

Lately I’ve seen non-verbal ads for ice cream, Toyota, Capital One, and ADT whatever that is. I don’t recognize the music. The melodies aren’t catchy and do not entice me to “listen” to the ad. That fact alone is aggravating and makes the product less appealing and more annoying than the music. I have no interest in purchasing something corporate leaders couldn’t be bothered to promote with words.

Advertising is important for a company’s sales, I understand that. Saturday I learned exactly how important it is on a personal level. About nine o’clock in the morning I decided to untarp my stuff, open my garage door, and continue my sale. I drove to the end of my sideroad and stuck my “Garage Sale” sign into a gray plastic milk crate. Two large rocks from my yard held the sign in place. I’m not strong enough to force the wire legs of the sign into the ground so I rigged up this weird system last summer and it worked just fine.

Even when there was heavy rain and gale force winds, the rocks kept the flimsy plastic sign in place and the crate didn’t move an inch. Lots of cars made the one mile trek down my road. Folks went away with boxes and bags full of things I had accumulated over the years. Some items belonged to Dad, others to Mom, and a few were Uncle Steve’s. With a new decade looming in the future, I decided it was time to clean out the wellhouse and garage. I sold everything from tractor belts to old wooden boxes to fine china sets, and my tables were still loaded. I tarped everything for the winter, pushed aside the tables, and parked my car back in the garage.

Saturday I wasn’t getting any customers, so I decided to cut my grass before the rain fell. I finished the task a few minutes before the clouds opened and dropped their bounty. My garage leaks like a sieve so I put the blue tarps back on the Nancy Drew books, various kitchen items, stuffed toys for kids, and a table loaded with miscellaneous stuff. Then I closed the garage door and drove down the road.

That’s when I discovered why folks hadn’t stopped by. No one knew I was having a sale because the crate my sign was in was gone. Whoever took it just threw aside the sign. They were too lazy to shove it in the ground. I picked up the sign and went home, grumbling all the way. It’s only a short distance from the corner to my trailer, so my grumble didn’t last long. That’s why I’m stretching it into a column. It’s a reminder to others that if your sale isn’t going well, check the spot where you put your sign. Someone may have absconded with it.

Why anyone would desire one crate is beyond me. It would be like stealing one bookend or a salt shaker without the pepper shaker. If the culprits had any sense, they would have driven down my road, checked out the goods, and pocketed a whole lot of stuff. It’s all priced to go. Am I going to worry about the carpenter’s tape measure some fellow walked off with last year? So what if it was the kind that folds and was at least 50 years old. Am I going to cry over the dollar I didn’t get for it? Of course not. I lost a few other things the same way. I imagine some kleptomaniacs were on the loose, roaming up one sideroad and down the other, pocketing stuff they had no use for but just couldn’t resist taking with them.

We’ve heard a lot about stealing lately. The presidential election was supposedly stolen due to Russian interference. Alleged fake news steals our trust in all news. An advertisement without words steals our faith in the products. Someone stealing my crate and discarding my sign steals my potential sales. Once trust is gone, it’s hard to get back. It doesn’t matter if it’s something tiny or monumental.

I used to say it was better to be around a thief than a liar, because you knew what to expect from a thief, but now I’m not so sure. What do you think?

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