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Holiday humor: Happy Fourth of July

One week from today we celebrate our wonderful patriotic Fourth of July. This is perhaps my favorite U.S. holiday. Today, let’s take a brief look at the history of this great celebration.

The Fourth of July, also known as Independence Day, has been an official USA federal holiday for many years. In 1870, the United States Congress made July 4 a federal holiday. In 1941, it was expanded to grant a paid holiday to all federal employees.

Over these many years, our celebration of the Fourth of July has remained an important national holiday and a true symbol of patriotism for our great nation.

What follows is certainly a very profound coincidence. Two of our greatest leaders, John Adams, our second president, and Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the United States, both passed away on the very same day. John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died on July 4, 1826, and this was exactly on the 50th anniversary of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence.

Of course, I have to throw in some of my Fourth of July jokes for you, and please don’t let me hear you all groaning too loudly.

Q: What is the most patriotic fish in all of the U.S.? A: “Uncle Salmon.”

Q: What’s the difference between Donald Duck and George Washington? A: Donald Duck has a bill on his face and George Washington has his face on a bill.

Q: What was the very last thing General Washington said to his men before they crossed the Delaware River to fight the British? A: Get in the boat!

Q: What is red, white, black and blue? A: Uncle Sam after he fell down the stairs.

Q: What was General George Washington’s favorite tree? A: The “Infan-tree.”

Q: What was the most popular dance in 1776? A: “Indepen-dance.”

Q: Why did our founding American citizens have to live like ants? A: Because they all lived in colonies.

Q: What protest did the dogs organize in the early colonies in 1772? A: The Boston “Flea” Party.

Q: What did one flag say to the other flag on the Fourth of July? A: It didn’t say anything, it just waved.

Q: What did the other flag say back? A: “Quit waving at me. I came out here to “hang out” alone.

Q: How come there are no “knock, knock” jokes about America? A: Because freedom rings!

I previously told one of my bad jokes to the Liberty Bell? It really cracked up!

I sincerely wish you all a most Happy Fourth of July. Also, please take a moment to reflect on how much we owe to the founders of our great nation and to our current and former members of all branches of our military. If you see a veteran or military person at this time, please take a moment and thank her or him for their wonderful service to protect the freedoms we enjoy in our great nation.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Dr. Jim Surrell is the author of “The ABC’s For Success In All We Do” and the “SOS (Stop Only Sugar) Diet” books. He has his practice at the Digestive Health Clinic at U.P. Health System-Marquette. Requests for health topics for this column are encouraged. Contact Dr. Surrell by email at sosdietdoc@gmail.com.

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