ANNIE LANE

Dear Annie: After 30 years of friendship, raising kids together, losing our parents and a very good mutual friend, traveling together with our families and so much more, my friend told me after the election last year that she had trouble being around “people like me.” In other words, I voted wrongly. I told her that I loved her and that our friendship means more to me than political differences and her response was, “It’s not that simple for me.”

I hadn’t reached out to her until a few months ago when I knew her first grandbaby was born (I found out through social media). I sent a nice text and her response was “Who is this?” I can accept that friends aren’t always who you think they are, but I keep thinking of her and hate the idea that she is so angry at the world and our country that she would let this happen to our friendship.

Should I reach out again or let it fade away for good? — Friendship Falling Out

Dear Falling Out: After 30 years of memories, it must be surreal to have someone you thought would always be in your corner respond with, “Who is this?” You handled it with grace — reaching out, expressing your love and giving her space to come around.

If your friend has decided politics matter more than your character and years of loyalty, there’s not much you can do to sway her. Leave the door cracked, but don’t push her to walk through it. You’ve already tried campaigning your way back into her good graces. Now it’s her move.

Dear Annie: I am an 81-year-old widower. My deceased wife and I weren’t into the wedding ring thing when we got married. About 10 years ago, I bought a matching set of engraved rings. She wore hers; I didn’t due to nerve reactions.

My wife passed away five years ago. I am about to go into assisted living and am really strapped for cash. I’ve heard about gold prices these days and I’m tempted to sell both unused rings. My daughter has already selected the keepsake piece of jewelry she wants from her mother’s things and it’s not these rings.

Would I be wrong to sell our rings? — Sentimental but Strapped

Dear Strapped: There’s nothing wrong with selling the rings, and if your wife were still with us, she’d probably tell you the same. The love you two shared ran deeper than two pieces of metal ever could.

If selling them makes this next chapter of life easier, that’s an act of practicality, not betrayal. Take a photo before you part with them, then let go of the guilt. Your wife lives on in your memories, not in a jewelry box.

Dear Annie: My sister and I were once inseparable. We talked every day, shared everything and leaned on each other through some of life’s hardest moments — including our parents’ divorce and the loss of our mom five years ago. But over the last year, something has shifted, and I can’t seem to figure out what went wrong.

She’s become distant and dismissive, and our once easy conversations have turned tense. When I call, she rarely answers. When she does, she keeps the conversation short and finds ways to criticize — my parenting, my house, even the way I spend my weekends. At family gatherings, she’ll make little jabs in front of others that sting far more than she realizes. I’ve tried addressing it gently, telling her that I miss our closeness and asking if I did something to upset her, but she either denies there’s a problem or says I’m “too sensitive.”

It’s heartbreaking, because I still love her deeply and wish we could go back to how things used to be. But I’m also tired of walking on eggshells and leaving every interaction feeling small and hurt. Our father tells me to “just let it go,” but it doesn’t feel that simple. Letting go of my sister feels like losing the last piece of family that truly knew me.

How do I handle a sibling relationship that seems to be falling apart? Do I keep reaching out, or protect my peace and accept that maybe we’ve grown in different directions? — Hurt but Hopeful

Dear Hurt: Sisters can bring out the best and the worst in us. It sounds like you’ve done everything you can — you’ve reached out, you’ve tried to talk, and you’ve shown kindness even when she hasn’t. That says a lot about who you are. The truth is, the way people treat you usually says more about them than it does about you.

When someone is unhappy, overwhelmed or wrestling with their own insecurities, they often take it out on the people closest to them. It doesn’t make it right, but knowing this may help you stop taking her behavior so personally. You can care about your sister and still decide not to be her punching bag.

As Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” You don’t have to slam the door shut, but it’s OK to stop knocking on it for a while. Give her some space. Let her miss the warmth of what you used to share. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words.

Keep your focus on the people who bring out your calm instead of your guilt. You can love your sister, hope for better days and still protect your own peace. That’s not selfish — that’s healthy.

Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Visit www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.