Dear Annie: I’ve been dating a wonderful woman for almost a year now and have recently noticed some odd behaviors. The one that concerns me the most is the way she’s been dressing. Case in point: We were invited to a pool party and barbecue at a friend’s house.

When I picked her up, she was dressed as if she were going to a high-powered business meeting, complete with heels and a Gucci purse.

The second time, we were going to a memorial service for one of her co-workers’ husbands, and she was dressed in shorts and a T-shirt. The third time, she dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt for dinner out with friends at an upscale restaurant for their 35th anniversary. We’ve both gotten some interesting looks about her appearance.

I’ve tried talking to her several times about her dressing inappropriately for certain outings and hit a stone wall. I’ve also reached out to her close friend who was no help. It’s gotten to the point I am considering not going out on the weekends with her. How can I deal with this? It’s beginning to affect me at work. — Stonewalled

Dear Stonewalled: The most concerning thing about this situation isn’t so much the fashion choices themselves, but that your girlfriend has started acting so differently seemingly out of the blue, with little regard for the social context around her.

Can you think of anything that might have led to this disconnect? Does she have family or other close friends you can try talking to instead about it? This, and the other odd behaviors you mentioned but didn’t detail further, I fear, could be a sign of something bigger going on.

Dear Annie: I am an older mom of three toddlers. My husband and I tried for many years to have children and were not successful on our own, but with the help of IVF, we now have three beautiful children.

Our oldest is 5 and I am now 55. I knew having children later in life would come with questions, but some people can be so hurtful. Strangers have said, “What beautiful children — are you Mom or Grandma?” What business is it of theirs, and how is me answering that question going to make their day better? In this diverse world we live in, it seems like it’s so acceptable to have two moms or two dads. Why is it not acceptable to be an older mom? What would be a proper reply to someone who asks? — Left Speechless

Dear Speechless: I’m so sorry you’ve felt judged and unaccepted by people who are clearly ignorant of the journey you’ve been through to create your family. The next time it comes up, try a simple but confident, “I’m their mom and very grateful to be.” This answers their question while hopefully shutting the door on any further comments.

As annoying and hurtful as the people posing these questions can be, remember that their opinions are unimportant. All that matters is your family’s health, happiness and well-being.

Dear Annie: I have a friend who spent many years in an emotionally abusive relationship that seems similar to what “Sad Grandma” described. What I have seen with my friend’s children is that they have learned to treat their mom the same way their father did.

They watched for years as she put his needs and demands first in all of their lives. By putting him first, she taught her own children to put her last.

My friend is now working very hard to change her relationship with her children, and I hope “Sad Grandma” can, too. Remember: When you always put others first, you teach them to put you last. — Fellow Mom

Dear Fellow Mom: Thank you for your letter. You bring up such an important point, which is that more is caught than taught. “The Gift,” a book by Edith Eger, highlights this very important lesson.

Dear Annie: My aunt relocated to Florida from Illinois with her husband. When her sisters would come for a visit, she would make a “Whoopee List.” It was a list of things to do with them while they were there, such as going to Disney World and other neat things!

Yes, we now live in a world that has changed greatly, but I try to remember to treat our guests like royalty, as my aunt did. I believe having good hospitality is even biblically based.

I’m the youngest of five. When I went to visit a couple of my brothers, they treated me the complete opposite of the way my aunt treated her sisters. I think one brother did not really want me there. I must say that I’m hesitant to ever visit them again.

I was very hurt by the way they treated me. And it is one of those lessons in life where we learn. I still do the polite things of sending birthday and Christmas cards, but the closeness is gone.

I have friends in Washington and Florida who have invited me, but I’m reluctant to even visit them. I think we all must make a note to treat visitors — even those who show up unexpectedly at our front door — kindly, politely and with genuine regard. We definitely know that when a family member or friend returns for another visit to our home, we did right with them on their previous visit.

I truly appreciate sharing this with you, and it helps me to write to you about this matter. It has been on my mind for years. — Visiting Family and Friends

Dear Visiting Family: Your letter highlights one of the most important rules of life: the golden rule, which is to treat others as you would want to be treated. Whether that applies to a guest in your house or to any other situation in your daily life, you will be much happier and relaxed if you practice this rule. If your brothers don’t apply it, that’s their problem, not yours.

EDITOR’S NOTE: “Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.