Annie Lane, syndicated columnist

Dear Annie. It will soon be my 40th birthday, and I’m feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety with this pending milestone event. Intuitively, I understand that it is an arbitrary number. My body feels the same as it did yesterday, and nothing appears to be changing. However, emotionally, it feels like everything is changing. And I feel that when I wake up on my birthday, all will change, suddenly.

I also know that when I crossed these milestones previously, nothing was different. Yet, even as I recognize these realities, I can’t stop fretting over the aging process. I’m losing sleep worrying about it, and it occupies my thoughts constantly. This has been ongoing for a few months now.

What can I do to settle my mind? How can I become confident as I age? I need your help! — Fretting the Next Day

Dear Fretting: First, and most importantly, happy birthday! As we age, most people become anxious about adding one more year to our age rather than enjoying the day as a way to celebrate what we’ve accomplished and what’s still ahead.

No one can avoid aging, but it’s important to remember that each new year enables us to experience life in new ways and to grow. Aging gives us opportunities to spend with family and friends, to meet friends, see new places, taste new foods and on and on. Rather than looking anxiously toward the day, look excitedly toward the next experience and appreciate every little moment. The summation of these memories will create a rich and well-lived life. Also, remember that your birthday is a very special day that your parents want to celebrate. Your birth marked an extraordinary experience in their lives.

Editor’s note: “Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.