Dear Annie: My son and his wife hardly ever really clean their house. The bathroom on the main level gets cleaned once in a while — when friends are coming over — but the ones upstairs are disgusting. When I have stayed there, I’ve cleaned the bathroom I use because I can’t stand it. They’ve lived in this house for three years, and there is dust that has never been swept up. Neither one was raised like this.

They both work, and I’ve tried hinting that perhaps they should get a cleaning service, but my son doesn’t want to do that. I am there one day a week to watch my grandchildren and have thought about offering to clean, but I don’t feel I should do it free of charge, although I don’t need the money.

I really don’t want to stay overnight again until they clean. Should I tell them that? If so, any suggestions? — At My Wits’ End

Dear Wits’ End: Everybody has different standards of cleanliness. If you don’t think it would offend them, you could offer to get them a cleaning service one time, as a gift. Sometimes we stop noticing messes in our midst after a while; seeing the house spick-and-span might give your son and daughter-in-law a new perspective. But at the end of the day, it is their house. As long as it’s not anywhere near dangerously unsanitary — for example, resembling a hoarder’s house — clean enough for them is clean enough.

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