At least last week's picks weren't mediocre because I didn't know what I was doing. No, instead it was only because I didn't know what I was talking about.
Now if that doesn't make any sense - and I agree, it doesn't - neither does my anti-momentum philosophy in picking NFL games.
My pet picking-the-winners theory says to lean more toward a team coming off a loss when playing a team that just won. Supposedly, last week's losers have more incentive to turn things around this week.
Yeah, right. A post-mortem from Week 8 showed anti-momentum was right one time - and wrong in eight other instances.
How the heck I even got to 8-6 shows how much I pick games like a politician talks - say one thing and do another.
So it's back to the drawing board with these Week 9 picks. In other words, a stab in the dark meets blind luck to come up with a wild guess. Oh yeah, and a consultation with the Vegas line, too.
Today, 8:20 p.m.
Kansas City at San Diego - I was just trying to do these two teams a favor when I checked the waiver wire and found out that Jeff George, Andre Ware, Brett Favre and Joe Namath are available to sign as free agent quarterbacks. Go with your current roster at your own peril. Chargers, 13-10.
Sunday, 1 p.m.
Arizona at Green Bay - Picks that are stone-cold locks make me nervous all of a sudden. Nevertheless, Packers, 31-16.
Detroit at Jacksonville - If Detroit doesn't win this road game, at least we'll know for sure they're paper tigers. Oooh, bad choice of words just a few days off the end of the World Series. Tigers, oops, I mean Lions, 27-14.
Denver at Cincinnati - I picked Peyton Manning before the season started to win it all for Denver. It's about time to put a long streak of W's together. Broncos, 40-28.
Baltimore at Cleveland - These are the only two teams to win a game this season when failing to score 10 points. Close, but not quite this week. Ravens, 10-9.
Buffalo at Houston - When Texans coach Gary Kubiak sees his Houston players getting all full of themselves, all he should have to say is "Green Bay Packers." Texans, 36-24.
Miami at Indianapolis - From outhouse to ... well, middle level of a three-story rent-by-the-hour motel for these teams. Colts, 27-24.
Chicago at Tennessee - One more good week for the Bears, then Chicago plays Houston and San Francisco back-to-back. That should be when we witness the next Jay Cutler implosion. Bears, 20-12.
Carolina at Washington - Battle of the young mobile QBs. But it's Cam Newton who's battling the slump, not to mention trying to carry a porous Carolina defense. Redskins, 31-20.
Sunday, 4 p.m.
Tampa Bay at Oakland - Each of these 3-4 teams has one legitimate win, Tampa over Minnesota and Oakland over Pittsburgh. I'll take the team from the better conference. Buccaneers, 22-19.
Minnesota at Seattle - Still plenty of time and space for the Vikings to slide further into the abyss. Seahawks, 23-17.
Pittsburgh at N.Y. Giants - A hunch, but I don't like the Giants coming off back-to-back-to-back tough games - all wins - against the 49ers and bitter division foes in the Cowboys and Redskins. Steelers, 24-17.
Sunday, 8:20 p.m.
Dallas at Atlanta - Yeah, the Falcons don't inspire me as a 16-0 or even 15-1 team. But until they lose, picking with them is an automatic win each week. Falcons, 36-28.
Monday, 8:30 p.m.
Philadelphia at New Orleans - If this was college football, this would be the Don't Squeeze the Charmin Underachievement Bowl. Though still in a coma, New Orleans has at least shown a weak pulse lately. Saints, 30-28.
Last week - 8-6, 57 percent. Season - 69-49, 58 percent.
Steve Brownlee can be reached at 906-228-2500, ext. 246.