To the Journal editor:
We live in a fractured nation, divided irreconcilably into two opposing camps.
In one, those living in abject terror of a 20-year-old Guatemalan woman fleeing poverty and violence, trekking some 1,500 miles, baby at her breast, seeking a better life for her child; desire, beyond all things, a $5 billion iron curtain to keep the barbarians at bay.
In the other, those who see a gigantic boondoggle in expending five bil on a 204 mile long Great Wall of Trump, at a neat average cost of $24.5 million per mile.
Fortuitously a Colorado man has contrived a solution — a GoFundMe account.
He opines that if each of the nearly 63 million who voted to install Mr. Trump in the Oval Office kicks in a mere $80 the imposing edifice can be erected. Hooray!
However it is a fact, sad but true, that the ranks of True Believers have been somewhat winnowed by the inevitable vicissitudes of time, for example by conspiring with a Russian dictator to undermine and subvert American democracy. There is, alas, no internet access at the Grey Bar Hotel. Hence, the remainder will have to pony up slightly more.
To those concerned about the financial burden the above allotment places on them, additional good news. The dear leader has publicly stated at least 20 times (perhaps more, some insomnolent tweets and pep rally exhortations may not have been recorded) that Mexico will pay for the construction, so when that glorious day arrives a rebate check will doubtless be in the mail.
Until then, do svidaniya, tovarisch!