What to do when there’s no reply
Dear Annie: I am a doctor and have a friend whom I see at medical conferences once or twice a year. We first met five years ago, and we get along great, especially because there was a time when we female doctors were rare. However, our friendship is very casual, and I don’t really consider her a close friend. I just think of her as someone I enjoy hanging out with during the conferences.
The problem is that when I sent her an email suggesting we get together for our usual luncheon on the opening day of the conference, she never replied. I’m not sure whether I offended her, though I honestly can’t think of anything I did that could have made her upset. I’ll admit that my feelings are hurt, and I’m even thinking about not going to the next conference, but then I think that’s silly. I am writing to see whether you have any suggestions. — Scratching My Head
Dear Scratching: You should pick up the phone and call her. It is possible she never even saw your email. If she did, I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation for why she didn’t reply. If, for some reason, you did offend her, she can explain that to you, and you can decide whether to apologize or, if you think she’s wrong, look for a new luncheon partner at your conferences.
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