When love declines, think of other partner, their needs
The two sitting across the desk from me were not young lovers; they were approaching sixty. But they had the same stars in their eyes that I have seen so many times in those much younger. It was evident that they were deeply in love and we had met that night to plan their wedding.
Turning to the prospective groom, I asked about their honeymoon. “It’s going to be a long one,” he replied. He had the right idea and I commended him for it. Every honeymoon ought to last for life.
Love should grow…not decline.
Why should young newlyweds be the greatest lovers? Shouldn’t love improve with age? Shouldn’t the passing of years mature affection, making it richer and more thrilling?
The Biblical lament about declining love in the church at Ephesus would be a fitting commentary on the climate existing between too many husbands and wives: “Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love” (Revelation 2:4).
Nothing is more tragic than declining love, whether it has taken place in a marriage, a church or our personal walk with God. In all of these relationships, declining love speaks of cooling affection, of just going through the motions in a setting where things much warmer and better are to be expected.
Do you remember a better day?
Here’s how to halt love’s decline and rekindle old fires: remember how it was, reverse your present direction and return to your first love (Revelation 2:5).
When love begins, it is expressed often. How long has it been since you spoke of your love to your wife or husband? A day? A week? A month? A year? If it has been a long time since you communicated your love in either word or act, you are not living as God intended.
A woman once told me that her marriage had been changed by something her pastor had said in one of his sermons. Immediately interested, I asked what he had said that had made such a difference. She replied that he had said, “You may be asking whether or not you are getting enough out of your marriage, when that is not the right question. You should be asking whether or not your husband or wife is getting all that he or she should be getting out of the marriage.”
The pastor’s thought provoking observation had turned this marriage around, making both the husband and wife givers instead of just receivers. Of course, you can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. That’s what love is all about.
Keep your love as priority one and show it by your kindness to one another. This is an important part of the abundant life God intends for you to enjoy.
Don’t major on the weaknesses of those you love. People who build on faults should expect earthquakes.
God loves us in spite of our faults.
And His love never declines.
Editor’s note: Roger Campbell was an author, a broadcaster and columnist who was a pastor for 22 years. Contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org.