Sons are not welcome at funeral
Dear Annie: This is a problem I know my family will have pretty soon. My mother married my stepfather, “Skip,” after my father died 19 years ago. My stepfather had eight children before they got married, so I have eight stepsiblings. My mom passed away a few years ago.
Three of Skip’s sons won’t speak to him or visit because he gave his daughter power of attorney and they were very upset by that.
Anyway, the problem now is that Skip doesn’t want his sons at his funeral at all.
Besides these three sons, he has another son and four daughters. And he has told all five of them to make sure the other three aren’t there.
My question is: What can be done to get them to stay away at the funeral without causing a problem and without getting the law involved? Please help me to tell them how to fix this. — Very Unhappy
Dear Very Unhappy: You can try keeping the location of the service a secret and let all invited guests know to keep the address to themselves because it’s a private event.
If the service is being held on private property, you can explain the situation to the owners and ask for their assistance in keeping out unwanted guests, who would technically be trespassing.
All that said, the onus is on the three brothers to respect their father’s final wishes.
Should they manage to attend the funeral, keep the focus off them and on remembering and celebrating the life of your stepfather.
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