Fidelity is lacking

Annie Lane

Dear Annie: My wife and I have been together for 20 years and married for four. We have three kids. In the beginning of our relationship, it was bad — and the bad all came from me. I cheated on her and hurt her. She stayed by my side, and that’s when I realized that I have a wonderful woman. I got my act together and ended up marrying her.

This year, I have caught her cheating on me twice. All she does is say that I have done it to her in the past. I’m stuck, because I don’t want to leave but I also can’t accept the cheating. What do I do? — Heartbroken Hubby

Dear Heartbroken Hubby: Though you put your affairs behind you, your wife clearly wasn’t able to. It was wrong of you to cheat, but it was wrong of her to accept your proposal if she wasn’t going to accept the past. Now she’s inflicting wounds on you instead of healing her own. Such vengeance has no place in a marriage.

Marriage counselors aid couples grappling with these issues every day, and I recommend you and your wife set up an appointment as soon as possible. A professional counselor can help you unpack the years of baggage you’re both carrying, lightening the load so you can finally move forward in love.

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