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Helping children develop resilience

Helping children develop resilience

Sabin, Davis, Hetrick, Anderegg, Macalady, Walker, Darling, and Katers

After years of research and experience Dr. Katharine Kersey has some suggestions to help children develop resilience and self-reliance, printed with permission.

¯ Encourage children to maintain a positive attitude about chores and homework by teaching them creative ways to find fun in any work. Make the activity a game. Tally math problems completed. Take several breaks.

¯ Give children the opportunity to wait patiently when it is required. Avoid providing entertainment with electronics that provide immediate gratification. That becomes a habit. Talk or play math fact, I Spy or reading games instead. Keep books and drawing materials in the car. These activities activate the brain differently than technology.

¯ Avoid giving children every single physical thing they desire (toys, food, clothes, technology, videogames, pets) even if “everyone else has them.”

¯ Enable your child to give toys and clothes away regularly to charity, and teach them that material possessions are simply tools and not answers to happiness.

¯ Teach your child how to be responsible for their own clothes as early as possible: to sort and wash and put them away, including washing clothes by hand and hanging them to dry.

¯ Enable children to gain perspective of reality by volunteering for charitable organizations that serve people who do not have the same life circumstances.

¯ Teach children to identify struggles as challenges to overcome, not tests to avoid, and teach them phrases such as “this too shall pass” or “every challenge makes you stronger.”

¯ Require that responsibilities be completed even when children do not feel like it, such as making beds, taking a bath, feeding the pets and brushing teeth.

¯ Remind children to do their best on school work, even if it means taking longer than they would like or staying up a bit later than normal. Teach them to start big projects early and make a schedule to break them up.

¯ When children want to find something, let them look for it.

¯ Resist the urge to run to children’s rescue immediately, such as when you see them having trouble putting on clothes or feeding themselves.

¯ Introduce new experiences to children which will help them step outside their comfort zone, such as playing with children who speak another language and trying new foods.

¯ Do not give in when you have set a reasonable limit based on age, maturity and circumstances, such as an amount of technology or how much dessert they can have.

¯ Take deep belly breaths, walk away or run up some stairs to stay calm and teach children to do the same.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Grandparents Teach, Too is a non-profit organization of elementary and preschool teachers from Marquette, Michigan. The writers include: Jan Sabin, Mary Davis, Jean Hetrick, Cheryl Anderegg, Esther Macalady, Colleen Walker, Fran Darling, and Iris Katers. Their mission since 2009 is to help parents, grandparents, and other caregivers of young children provide fun activities to help prepare young children for school and a life long love of learning. They are supported by Great Start, Parent Awareness of Michigan, the U.P. Association for the Education of Young Children, Northern Michigan School of Education, the Upper Peninsula Children’s Museum and the Northern Michigan University Center for Economic Education.

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