Summer, fish jokes always good medicine

Dr. Jim Surrell

We are truly blessed to be here in the Upper Peninsula where our northern border is right on Lake Superior.

Lake Superior is very properly named because it contains three quadrillion (a million billion) gallons of fresh water and is home to more than 80 different species of fish. It also has the largest surface area of any fresh water lake on our entire planet. As we are now into this great 2018 summer in our wonderful Upper Peninsula, I thought it would be fun to share with you some of my summer jokes and fish jokes. And always recall that the following Dr. Surrell rule remains in effect: There will be no groaning allowed! So, let’s get started on these as we continue to enjoy this wonderful warm weather and our great fishing here in the U.P.

What did Lake Superior say to the beach in the summer? Nothing, it just gave a wave.

The best thing about summer in the U.P. is that there is no minus sign in front of the reported outside temperature.

When fishing in the summer, what is the best way to communicate with a fish? Just drop him a line!

The lady of the house needs to know the following summertime fishing wisdom. Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you can get rid of him for a whole weekend.

Why didn’t the fish ever graduate and get out of school? Because his grades were always below “Sea Level.”

Where do fish sleep? In their water bed.

Where do fish keep their money? In the River Bank.

What kind of fish only likes to come out at night? The Starfish.

Big brother fish told this to baby brother fish. Keep your mouth shut & you won’t get caught.

Why did the gymnast put salt on her summer salad? She wanted to do summer salts.

During the summer, when do you go on red and stop on green? When you are eating watermelon.

Why was the banana afraid to go out in the summer sun? He was afraid he might peel.

What is the best brand of laundry soap to use to wash your swimsuit? Tide.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a Lake Trout? Swimming trunks.

What is black and white and red all over in the summer? A sunburned zebra.

What is the best way to avoid a summer cold? Catch it in the winter and then leave it there.

What did the pig say to the fish on a hot summer day at the beach? I’m bacon.

Uncle Sam’s favorite summer fish is the red, white and blue gill.

Now, get out there and enjoy this great summertime in our wonderful unique Upper Peninsula. And yes, these are your summer Doctor’s Orders. I wish you all a joyful summer with friends and family.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Dr. Jim Surrell is the author of “The ABC’s For Success In All We Do” and the “SOS (Stop Only Sugar) Diet” books. Requests for health topics for this column are encouraged. Contact Dr. Surrell by email at sosdietdoc@gmail.com.